Until Tomorrow Page 13

  “I know it might be hard to understand now, but trust me, darling, you never looked at Mark like you look at Logan. Maybe Mark did you a favor by walking away. Don’t be like me and settle. Don’t wait around for your happy ending. Make your own.”

  “Maybe.” Emma shrugged, and then looked at Stacy. Really looked at her in a way that she never had. “You’re not a fake Barbie Doll. You’re a smart, beautiful, strong woman, and my sister and I love you.” She leaned over and hugged her. They stayed that way for a while, before finally pulling away with tears in their eyes. “Maybe you should take your own advice. Go find your happy ending. You deserve it, you know.”

  “I love you, too.” Stacy wiped her eyes. “Does your doctor have a brother?”

  They both laughed.

  “Seriously, though, I think I’m going to try life on my own for a while.” Stacy swirled the liquid in her crystal glass, looking pensive as she stared out over the rolling sea. “I have never once thought about what I wanted to do with my life or what might make me happy. I think I need to take a page out of your book and figure that out first. As you said, I can certainly afford it now.”

  “Good for you. That’s why I’m so fascinated with Kathleen’s story.” Emma hugged her knees to her chest and leaned her head back, shaking it sadly. “She was so much like me, yet she was persecuted for being so. I can’t imagine being in her shoes, yet she survived. If she can, I can. That’s why it’s so important for me to set the record straight. It’s hard to explain, but I feel like I owe that to her. Like she’s pushing me to continue.”

  “It doesn’t sound strange at all. There are so many things that happen in this world that we can’t explain. Maybe you ended up in Beacon Bay for a reason. I think you should stay here and finish what you started.”

  “You do?” Emma lifted her head and blinked in surprise.

  Stacy laughed. “Yes, I really do. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. I told them you called me. They sent me here to convince you to come back home.”

  “I figured.” Emma felt closer to her than she ever had before. She wasn’t alone in any of this. She had someone who cared about her. A sister. And that bond couldn’t be stronger.

  “They aren’t bad people, Emma.” Stacy broke through her thoughts, speaking softly. “They love you; they just have a hard time showing it. I think you should definitely stay.”

  Emma closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them and said with conviction, “Okay.”

  They clinked glasses.

  “Finish your adventure and write your story, but when it’s over, Trevor’s not the only one who wants the facts. I expect to hear about all the juicy details.”

  “Done. And Stacy?”

  “Yeah?” She looked at her curiously.

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being you and being my sister and being more special to me than you will ever know.”

  It was clear Stacy struggled to fight back emotion over Emma’s words as she replied, “Ditto, babe.”

  11

  June 1943: Beacon Bay, Maine

  It was the end of June. One year had passed by since Kathleen’s life had forever been changed. She’d made it through the winter. There was a time she feared she would never survive, but Joseph’s letters had kept her going. His enemies were far more dangerous than hers. If he could make it through the war enduring such hardships and sacrifice, then surely, she could do the same.

  His last letter had said he was headed off to parts unknown. That was the worst. Not knowing if he was in safe territory or in the middle of a battle, risking his life for the freedoms of others. She prayed for his survival every day. He hadn’t said she was anything other than a friend to him, but he was her everything. He had come to mean so much to her. This was what had been missing from her marriage: tenderness and compassion and kindness and caring and selflessness.

  Kathleen’s heart fluttered when she thought of Joseph. She’d never imagined she could love someone so much. For the first time in her life, she didn’t care about what she wanted. All she needed to know to be content and at peace was knowing he was happy. If Beverly made him happy, then Kathleen could live with that. She would be okay. After all that Joseph had been through, he deserved to be happy.

  It would be hard to see him in person and not be able to talk to him and touch him and hold him in her arms like she had done in her dreams for so long now. She would give anything for just one kiss, but she knew once he came home for good, the letters would stop. She would no longer get to be his friend. This town wouldn’t allow it. Besides, he wouldn’t need her anymore, even though she knew she would need him for the rest of her days. His picture and his letters would have to last her a lifetime, but knowing he was getting everything he wanted in life would be worth it.

  But first he had to make it home in one piece.

  Kathleen walked through the park called Lighthouse Lane, tightening her Eisenhower jacket which was bloused at the chest and fitted at the waist with a belt. The sun was shining, but the temperatures were cool. At least the snow had melted after a long rough winter. The park was nestled further down from the marina on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean, with a breathtaking view of her favorite lighthouse. There was a gazebo and picnic tables and lanterns set up beyond the rocky shore—the park a favorite destination for both the locals and visitors of their small town. Preparations were in full swing for the Fourth of July celebration. There would be food and music and fireworks. Kathleen had loved this holiday when she was little and had attended the celebration for as long as she could remember.

  Until now.

  Last year had been a disaster. The whole town had shunned her when she’d made an appearance, in favor of a wounded William, though her bruises hadn’t even faded at that time. So now she made sure to visit the park when no one was there. She hadn’t realized the preparations would start this early. She was about to turn around and head home when she saw Joseph’s mother and his future wife, Beverly Sanderson.

  Kathleen froze by a tree, hoping they wouldn’t notice her. It was silly. They had no idea who she was. They knew of her, of course. Everyone in town did, but they hadn’t met her in person since they traveled in two very different social circles. She only knew who they were because her curiosity had forced her to seek them out a while back. She couldn’t help herself. She’d had to know more about Joseph, to see the woman who had created him and the woman who would share his bed, bear his children, and share the rest of his days.

  His mother, Hilary, was a sophisticated golden-haired, blue-eyed replica of Joseph and queen of high society. Prim and proper and perfectly poised—everything Kathleen wasn’t. And Beverly was an angel. She had pale blonde curls that fell past her shoulders and the most beautiful lavender eyes set in a heart-shaped face. Of course, the two of them were dressed in fine clothes from the latest fashions. Attention being drawn to the arm, they wore butterfly sleeves and banjo sleeves with exaggerated shoulder pads and dresses made of rayon material with a viscose lining.

  Kathleen couldn’t compete with that and felt frumpy in comparison in her drab, simply-cut blouse and skirt she wore beneath her jacket. She’d never been one to care about such trivial things as her looks when there were far more important matters happening around the world. That was why she’d avoided running into Hilary and Beverly ever since first laying eyes on them. She didn’t like how she felt or who she became when around them. Her mind told her feet to move, but some force she couldn’t quite understand wouldn’t let her leave.

  “It’s terrible. Just terrible, I tell you,” Hilary said to Beverly, wringing her hands. “I told the foolish boy that joining the war was a mistake. He had no business being in that battle. Alaska is so wild and savage. He should have known a gentleman would be no match for the battle in the Aleutian Islands. Now he’ll never be the same again after getting injured. And how embarrassing to the family name for him to get discharged from the Na
vy early. I don’t know if we’ll ever fully recover.”

  Kathleen’s heart tightened and she forgot to breathe. She held onto the trunk of the old oak tree with both hands, feeling faint. Battle, injured, discharged—her mind tried to piece the story together, but all her brain kept repeating was, Joseph….

  “An honorable discharge is still heroic; I just hope he’s not horribly disfigured. Do you think he’ll still be able to run Rutherford Ships?” Beverly asked, obviously caring more about her social standing and wealth than his well-being.

  “Only time will tell. We’ll have to wait until he comes home to assess the damage he’s done to himself.” Hilary shook her head, looking disappointed in her perfect son for allowing himself to be flawed in any way.

  Kathleen felt the anger welling up inside of her, building pressure that made her shake in her effort not to explode. How dare they? Joseph was perfect no matter how he looked. They should be more concerned with his emotional state and any pain he might be in and what they could do for him, not the other way around. They were selfish, shallow people, and Kathleen let go of the tree to tell them so. She didn’t care that it would expose that she knew Joseph. He deserved to have someone show compassion and that they cared about him and would do anything for him. She took two steps in their direction but stopped short, sucking in a sharp breath. She forgot to breathe as her eyes settled on a man who had just entered the park.

  Joseph.

  She would know him anywhere. He was walking across the rich green grass that was in need of mowing, straight for his mother and Beverly, but they hadn’t seen him yet. He wore his dress blues—a four-piece woolen uniform with cap, jumper, neckerchief, and trousers. He’d described all of his uniforms and what each of them was worn for in his letters. Being honorably discharged would warrant his dress blues in his honor.

  There was nothing wrong with being honorably discharged. He had served his country well and should be proud of that. Kathleen was certainly proud of him as she drank in the sight of him, right down to the last detail. The jumper had finished cuffs with white piping and a back flap consisting of the same white piping along its border, and the trousers had a thirteen-button broadfall front opening, and a lace up back, topped off with signature flared bottoms.

  He looked so handsome and distinguished and heroic. His family would do well to recognize that and realize how lucky they were to still have him in their lives, especially when so many other poor unfortunate souls weren’t so lucky. Other than a slight limp, he appeared to be perfectly fine, setting Kathleen’s mind at ease. Her anger was gone, replaced with intense relief that he was okay and pure joy at seeing him in the flesh for the first time.

  Joseph hesitated, and his steps slowed for a moment as he turned his head toward her as if some unknown force had compelled him to do so. Kathleen’s lips parted when they locked gazes. His eyes widened, and neither one could look away. Her heart started to pound, and her breath grew choppy. He was home. He was here, alive, and in the flesh and safe. She hadn’t thought she would see him until the end of the summer, and then he would be gone for another year only to come home and start a new life without her. A selfish part of her had wanted him to stay away so their letters would continue and a piece of him would still be hers. But she’d known that someday her fairy tale would end. She just hadn’t expected it to end so soon.

  Because the reality was, he didn’t belong to her, and he never would.

  His hand lifted slightly toward her as if he wanted to reach out and touch her, and he even took a step in her direction, but then his mother let out a cry and rushed toward him with Beverly floating casually behind her as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Startled, Joseph faced his mother and caught her in a hug. After a moment, he looked back in Kathleen’s direction, his eyes scanning the park for her, but she had hidden behind a group of trees. She thought she detected disappointment in his gaze, but that was probably wishful thinking on her part.

  Joseph smiled at his mother as she stepped back and introduced him to Beverly who gave him a proper smile of her own, even if it did look a bit fake. Again, probably wishful thinking on Kathleen’s part. When Joseph bowed slightly and bent over to kiss the back of Beverly’s gloved hand like a perfect gentleman, Kathleen couldn’t take any more. She slipped into the shadows and quickly made her way home, knowing what they had was over. Their friendship might be over and Joseph would never know how she truly felt about him, but he would forever hold a special place in her heart. He was her soul-mate, the love of her life, but now he was gone.

  Joseph scanned the park one more time but still didn’t see Kathleen. For a moment he wondered if he had imagined seeing her. He’d lost his vision in one eye, after all. The station on the USS Tennessee he had been manning was struck by ground fire from the Alaskan shoreline, knocking him to the deck and causing some equipment to fall on him. He’d lost the vision in his left eye and his leg had been injured, leaving him with a permanent limp. He was lucky to be alive and relieved to be sent home honorably, but a part of him felt guilty, as if he’d deserted his crew.

  The only thing that had kept him going was knowing he would get to see Kathleen early and he would be able to stay with her forever. He’d longed to hold her in his arms and confess his love. The anticipation of their first kiss had helped him fight through the pain as he healed. He’d dreamt about laying eyes on her for so long, she had to be real. His heart still hadn’t slowed its beating at spotting her standing there in the park like an angel. She’d stared at him with those haunted, mystical eyes of hers and captured his soul. He could have sworn he’d read the same love that he felt in her gaze, but maybe not. She hadn’t stayed long enough for him to speak with her, so maybe she didn’t feel the same way after all.

  “What are you looking at?” his mother asked.

  “Nothing, really, just the park and thinking about how good it feels to be home.” Stifling his disappointment, he donned an expression he knew his mother wanted to see. She frowned at his limp and couldn’t stop blinking over his cloudy eye. “I’m okay, Mother,” he finally said, doing what he always did in putting others first and easing their worry over giving in to his own pain.

  “I’d hardly say you’re okay, but you’re here and that’s a start.” She blinked back real tears and clasped her hands in front of her.

  Joseph knew she loved him in her own way, but the hug she’d given him had been a rare occurrence. She wouldn’t let it happen again, and she certainly wouldn’t give in to the weakness of tears, therefore, neither could he. “I can still do everything I used to; it just takes me a bit longer with a bum leg. And as for the eye, at least I have two.” He tried to ease the tension with humor.

  She didn’t so much as crack a smile. Instead, she stepped aside. “Joseph, I’d like you to meet Miss Beverly Sanderson.”

  Joseph smiled the obligatory smile as he bowed and kissed her hand, though she did not stir his blood or make his heart sing. She was stunningly beautiful, but there was no depth in her pretty eyes. She was a replica of his mother, in training to be the princess of high society. He bit back a sigh. There was a time he would have thought her perfect and him the luckiest man on earth, but he was a different person now. All he wanted to do was find Kathleen and sink into her embrace if she would have him.

  “I’m so happy you’re home, Mr. Rutherford. Now we can get properly acquainted, don’t you think?”

  If Beverly had bothered to write to him more than the obligatory first time like Kathleen had, she would already know exactly who he was, but she hadn’t. She undoubtedly didn’t want to waste her time in case he didn’t return, but now that he was back, she was willing to play the game.

  “Please, call me Joseph,” he said in lieu of an answer, biding his time. He needed to tell them all what he intended to do, but now was not the time or place.

  “Let’s go home,” his mother said, stepping between them and looping her arm through his in a show of affection, but he knew it was m
ore likely to help disguise his limp from any onlookers as they walked away. “Your father and sisters will be so happy to see you.”

  Yes, he would play the game…but not for long.

  Later that night Kathleen couldn’t stop thinking about Joseph. She stepped out on her back deck to look over the railing with longing. The brilliant sun sank over the horizon in a spectacular display of purple, red and orange, the faint hues still lingering as the stars began to twinkle. What she wouldn’t give to go to her favorite lighthouse and disappear forever. She was wrong. It hadn’t been better to see Joseph in person just one time because once would never be enough. But once was all she’d ever have.

  Knowing she couldn’t ever be with him was killing her.

  How could she go on living alone without his letters? Never to hear his words of encouragement, or to know he was looking up at the same sky even though he was far away and thinking about her, or to have someone to share her hopes and dreams with was heartbreaking. She could live with her husband’s abuse, and she could live with her parents turning their backs on her, and she could even live with being shunned by the town….

  But Kathleen honestly didn’t know if she could live without Joseph.

  Suddenly she felt a presence behind her, but she didn’t flinch or cower in fear. She somehow knew it wasn’t a monster. It was an angel. It was Joseph. “You’re here,” she said without turning around.

  “I couldn’t stay away,” he replied, his voice sounding rich and sweet like warm honey. Her eyes welled up over actually hearing it, which was something she’d thought would never happen after what she’d witnessed a few hours ago. “I saw you at the park earlier,” he added.

  “I saw you, too.” She tried not to let her voice shake. He was here, in the flesh, as real as can be. She wanted to touch him so badly but was afraid if she did, she would never let go like she knew she should.